The Silent Killer behind the Destruction Selfie
Tormented law student Celine Ballantine confessed to feeling ‘unhappy’ with lingering ‘dark thoughts’ for as long as she can remember.
The 19-year-old took drastic action by taking four selfies to highlight how her mental health deteriorated, which also affected her physical appearance.
The snaps, taken over a four-month period, depict the student with lifeless hair, greasy skin and struggling to keep up with her make-up routine.
The teen shared the pictures on social media mid-way through a two-week course of treatment at a mental health unit.
She has since been inundated with positive comments about the battles of mental health.
‘I think it is difficult for any other person to tell why you are depressed and I decided to take these selfies and post them,’ explained Celine, who is currently studying in Hull, East Yorks.
‘People say we cannot see mental health – but I don’t agree.
‘The pictures I posted show how gradually mental health has physically affected me and worn me down.
‘I decided to post them after I looked at the pictures of me at the hospital and it just didn’t look like me – I couldn’t even recognise myself, it is a silent killer.’
Celine, who is now an outpatient at Cygnet Hospital Harrogate, North Yorks., said she has suffered from depression as early as from the age of 13.
She explained the condition was made worse when she split up with her boyfriend last November, leaving her unhappy, unmotivated and plagued with enhanced ‘dark thoughts’.
She was also paranoid people would stare at her because she thought she was overweight and started obsessing over female body builders and how good they looked.
Speaking about her own selfies, Celine said: ‘It can be seen in my hair and make-up that I just could not be bothered to brush anymore – because what was the point?
‘You need to take care of yourself and make an effort – and you give up yourself.
‘And it can be seen in the smile, that is in all four photos, but which gradually becomes more and more of a cry for help.’
Celine, who is continuing her treatment as an outpatient, has sought refuge in her two beautiful horses which she owns and says that even though her parents have been more than supportive, still feels ‘incomplete’.
‘My parents have been more than generous and support me in every possible way – but I feel I really am alone over here by myself,’ continued Celine.
‘I felt as if it is almost impossible some mornings to leave my bed because at the end of the day – what was the point? Nothing had a purpose.’
The student is one of around 80,000 children and young people who suffer from severe depression in the UK.
‘Until you’ve experienced mental health or understand it, it is awful,’ she added. ‘However, it is nothing to be ashamed of and the help is there.’
Writer: Sabi Phagura for Metro.co.uk
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