Millennials ruining the world: the next thing to destroy is lunch
Yes that’s right. "Lunch". The midday meal between breakfast and dinner.
Now Millennials hate it and are intent on its destruction.
That is according to a video created by Fortune, anyway, which ominously declares that ‘millennials are killing lunch’ because they prefer to replace a proper lunchtime meal with snacks.
They have reported that the restaurant industry saw a 2% drop in lunchtime traffic in 2016, which they argue is evidence that us youths have been successful in destroying the evil establishment of scheduled mealtimes.
We’d suggest that the drop might be down to more millennials bringing in food from home because, well, we’re poor and don’t want to drop a load of cash on a fancy salad, but hey. The ‘millennials are killing lunch’ angle is a lot more fun.
And according to them, our lust for blood and the destruction of lunch means we’re replacing proper meals with snacks because they’re cheaper and more portable.
We choose snacks like fresh fruit, crisps, tortilla chips, frozen snack food, and yoghurt. We are monsters and the lunch-based takedown is just getting started.
The NPD Group predicts that replacing meals with snacks will increase by 12% by 2024. The horror. Oh, the horror.
So please, only blame millennials when you feel ashamed for eating a sandwich in the park instead of downing a Frube while zorbing.
Curse our names when you go to a cafe and ask for a bowl of hot soup, only to be laughed at and told: ‘erm, we have fruit and tortilla chips?’.
Shake your fist in anger when, in the year 2030, no one knows what lunch is anymore. When meals mean nothing. When we’re all living on hourly supplies of Huel and powdered sugar.
It is all down to us, lunch-hating millennials.
Guard your breakfast. Protect your wife.
We’ve already killed off marmalade, cereal, and choosing a holiday destination based on museums. Who knows what we’ll take down next?
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